The devil thrives on reminding us how sinful we are. He is in his glory when he undermines the grace and forgiveness that God so willingly gives us. God forgives if we ask him to.
I have struggled with my spouse's alcoholism. I have experienced heartache, resentment, insecurity, anger, victimisation and the tearing feeling between love and hate and the blurring line between loving the man and hating the alcohol. Loving the sober relationship, but despising the booze laden breath and fumbling and stumbling.
As I realize how Satan seeks to undermine everything, I know now that I need to turn it over to God. God will handle things when and if I ask Him to. If I sit in pity and play the victim, then am I really seeking God's help. The hardest thing is to realised that as much of a victim I might be, I can stop being the victim if only I am willing to let God have full control.
Yes, I felt guilty about my spouse's health issue, but it is in God's hands. I pray that it isn't serious and that it is remedied quickly through the medical staff. I pray that God is watching over the medical staff too. Yes, I felt guilty about resenting his clumsy drunken behaviour, but it is his choice to be that way. God can only help him if he will ask God. I pray that he opens his heart and asks for God's healing hand and forgiveness.
I pray that when I do succumb to anger, resentment, discouragement and heartache, that I am able to let it go and turn it over to God. He is there to hold me up when I feel down and to encourage and strengthen me when I feel there is nothing left. Reassurance, strength to weather the storms and confidence that He is with me is so incredibly encouraging.
Praying for continued healing. Praying for strength, confidence and discernment in moving forward. Praying for forgiveness, grace and love as God forgives me.
God bless.
Jane
No comments:
Post a Comment