What happens when you try to make up for lost time? What happens when the supposed 'quality' time lacks just that? What happens when the relationship becomes so much of an effort that it seems too painful? It is becoming too difficult to feel like the only one making an effort. It hurts to realize that getting back to the same wave length may take more work than I can muster the heart for.
The differences in perspectives comes into stark focus when the motivation behind gift giving is so disparaglingly different! To such a point that I would be embarrassed to be associated with the idea of resigning to a gift card unless it has been asked for. Might as well just give someone an envelop with cash in it and say Merry Christmas.
I am tired of making the effort to do something special when there doesn't even seem to be the motivation to try and think beyond the obligation. It is not what is meant by gift giving. I delight in trying to find the right thing, something special for each person, something unique. How is it that a business card size of plastic can hold any meaning to the true gift of Christmas... but hey, that doesn't even matter when the refusal to attend church is so cold and sharp.
Am I heartbroken by the refusal to embrace the gift God has given each us or am I letting my pride and values be stepped on?
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