How can I be of so little faith? I am struggling with worry. Anxiety about my realtionship with my spouse. Worry for my friend's parent facing surgery. Worry for the my kids. Worry for friends who will move away and how that will not only impact me as part of my supports, but my kids who love them too. I am heart broken and cannot say anything yet as nothing is finalized. I worry about the impact of their departure on so many other people as well.
Upon hearing the news of their possible departure, I cried, I didn't want to cry as I don't want them to feel badly, though I know that they do care. I struggled after we departed. I don't think I have cried like this since I lost my Dad and they aren't even gone anywhere yet. I am struggling to get out of this funk that it is holding over me and am praying that God's will be understood by me as I really don't think this is my will. I have not made such fast and close friends and fear losing them. I fear the lost of the mentor/frienship role they play with my kids. I am just sad that they must go. I guess that hardest part is that God would bring such an amazing gift in my life and decide that someone else also deserved it so very soon.
Praying for strength. Praying for looking forward to the opening doors and not to dwell so on the closing one. Praying that I can see beyond the grief that I am feeling. Praying that I can be strong for my kids when they find out. Praying that I can see and accept God's will in all of this.
The worse part in all of this is my spouse doesn't even like them! I don't think he will even care if they go. I can't even talk to him about it.
Praying for God's love and comfort and trying not to feel sorry for myself. But it still hurts.
Psalm 23:3-4 3 he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
No comments:
Post a Comment