Torn

An amazing occurrence in that God spoke to me through others.  It is okay to seek help, be it through conselling, prayer, reading His word or surrounding yourself with Christian friends.  It is not okay to leave unresolved disappointments in the way.

There will be times when we are praying for God to deliver us from a difficult situations, such as take this alcoholism away from my husband when perhaps we should be asking Him to strengthen and comfort us through it so that we may be a witness for Him.

The second is not my expectation, but it may be the path that God has in mind for now.  In the mean time, I have sought prayer. Lots of it from trusted people.  I have met for the first time with a counsellor.

But I haven't yet spoken to my husband about what an impact his drinking is having on our family.  Why is this so difficult?  Why am I fearful?  Why am I procrastinating?  I do not like the discomfort of living like this. I do not want peoples' sympathy. I want to move on with our lives in a more positive direction of respect, love and caring.  Why is talking to him about this feeling risky?  Why is it a stumbling block?  How can I get over this hurdle?  How do I set aside my fear and step up?

How do I pull on the "comfort and strength" of God and when do I know that it is the right time? I know the impact that it is having on our family. I know how hurtful, spiteful, hateful it can be to raise an issue or even just inadvertantly be mis-interpretted.  How do I take the next step?  Where is my faith? Take my unbelief and make it into belief that You can fix this and that You will give me the strength, the words and the compassion to do this.

Prayers appreciated.
God bless