Why then do I find it so hard to forgive? Am I holding on to the resentment, the anger, the hurt? Poor me to live like this? How do I get past repetitive behaviour of drunken insults? Absent minded inebriation? Clumsy affection that keeps happening over and over? How do I set boundaries when the behaviour is forgotten? Even conversations with relatives and discussions about vacations are being forgotten.
Would asking for a portion of God's grace allow me to find forgiveness? Would asking for courage and wisdom allow me to find the right words and the right timing? Would asking for a softening of his heart for God's love bring us both together? Could that be the purpose of the waiting? How do I let go of the resentment, the anger, the disappointment, the frustration, the ridiculous loss of memory that creates friction? How do I let go of the hurt?
Luke 6:32-38
“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. 35 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
Judging Others
37 “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. 38 Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
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