How is it that the person that drinks can make the non-drinker feel insecure, self-conscious and completely isolated sometimes? Why am I the incompetent one? Why am I the one that doesn't put out enough?
What would motivate a normally person to want to be intimate with a clumsy uncoordinated person that reeks of booze? What is attractive and romantic about being groped or poked with the finesse of a bull in a china shop? Why then am I made to feel cold?
What is it that makes considering intimacy during periods of soberness incomprehensible? The lack of genuine interest when sober makes me think that the desire for intimacy when a few drinks are under the belt have nothing to do with love or affection.
So, I am frigid? Don't get me wrong, I have truly enjoyed the increase periods of sober time together. And it is comfortable to see more of my spouse back to what I remember, but the decisions to drink when we could be relating, talking, or doing other things together.
The choice to drink in the evenings means that I am the only one that can pick up the kids. Yes, to have one drink would be nice, but one becomes two and then three and then a glass of wine, and then something else. So is the delay in drinking just leading to a binge drinking later in the night?
It is hard to know, but I only pray that this is truly a path towards improvement and not a false sense of change.
I will keep praying for continued improvement and hope that it is the beginning of real change and that the choice.
if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land." 2 Chronicles 7:14
God Bless.
No comments:
Post a Comment