My heart is breaking. I picked up some supper for the two of us since the kids were out. I knew he was already pretty drunk before I got the food. While I was getting the food, the youngest came home.
First, I came in, deposited the groceries and the take out on the table and given the choice language I heard downstairs, grabbed the takeout and headed downstairs with it. When I asked if there was something wrong, all I was told was that he wanted to know why our kid came home and said it was because I said he had to be home. I had know idea what the previous comments had been about. Other than knowing foul language was involved, I don't know what the angry comments were about from my spouse. A few minutes later, I came back up with mine as the I am not sure if it is the alcohol or the nicotine withdrawal that is causing such a caustic attitude in my spouse and thought that it best to get out of his space as questions about who left the scissors in the garage already made it feel like I could do no right.
I invited my youngest to have some of my fries and asked what had been said. He had been at a movie with a very nice girl. As we were eating supper, my spouse came up stairs so of course, went into the washroom. I remembered at that point, that since my hands were full, I had not closed the garage door when I came in. So closed it. Upon exiting the washroom, I was questioned why I opened the garage. I said I had closed it as my hands were full when I came in. (Not to mention that I wanted to intervene if need be in what ever he was yelling about when I came in and just before I went down with the food). There were under the breath swear words and another angry comment.
After my spouse went back downstairs, it broke my heart when my son asked me "Where is your God now?" All I could say holding back tears at the sadness in his question was that "He is right here right now. How else could I remain calm?" I couldn't find my voice and I couldn't eat any more.
How can I assure him that Psalm 23:4 is so true?
Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
Pray for my child and I.
God bless,
